Bradbury -
I have recently come into some money, and I want to be responsible with it. Now, I don't want to waste it in stocks, and while municipal bonds seem like a safe enough market, I have decided on what I feel to be a market with much higher potential for growth - breast implants.
So, I'm currently an A-, and I'm thinking about going B+ - C. What say you?
Celia.
Celia,
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND GOOD, NO!
As you can tell, I am against breast implants. As the great poet David Allen Coe once said, "Itty-bitty titties is the best there is."
That was from a male point of view.
As far as you are concerned, if you want them, get them. Just don't do it with the idea of pleasing men (not that I'm saying you would, merely that you shouldn't), because not all men like fake breasts. In fact, quite a few don't.
Again, if you want them for your own reasons, whatever they may be, then do it. If you're going to, don't go cheap. Talking with the limited number of people I know with experience in shopping around, the extra couple grand is well worth it. Put it this way: Any doctor who advertises on a billboard should be avoided.
To directly answer your question, go with a mid to high B.
Got a question?
Ask me, bradbury@loose-slugs.com
Just make sure the subject contains "Ask -Bradbury-"
posted by Big Nick 6:32 AM
dear -Bradbury-,
i was just wondering....i have a girlfriend...what is the probability that i will have buttsex?
~emo~
~emo~,
To answer your question directly, the probability is fairly high, perhaps between 75 and 80 percent. But to realize your buttsex potential, you must play your cards right.
It hinges on a lot of things. The main one is, in this proposed buttsex, who do you expect will be giving, and who will be receiving?
If your "girl" friend is either really a man, or enjoys the strap-on arts, the possibility of you waking up in the middle of the night with your man-virginity no longer intact is fairly high.
Now, if you want to be on the giving end of the buttsex, your chances may vary. If she's not too perceptive to the idea of sending your "Easy Rider" up the Hershey highway, there's nothing that a bottle of Southern Comfort and some Vaseline won't cure.....or so I've been told.
Perhaps you should bring it up in a nonchalant manner, by, say watching some anal-intense porn with her and asking what her opinion of that is. If she doesn't seem to like it, mention how much smaller your "endowments" are than the stars of the show. Or, maybe you would be better off not saying you have a little Oscar Meyer.
Good luck.
Got a question?
Ask me, bradbury@loose-slugs.com
Just make sure the subject contains "Ask -Bradbury-"
posted by Big Nick 8:43 PM
OKAY.....
The concept:
People with questions, of whatever form, email them to me.
I respond, with the question, on this board.
Fairly simple, no?
Until this gets rolling, I'll just use my own damn email, and we'll see about getting another one later.
SO....Just drop me a line, bradbury@loose-slugs.com, with your question.
The subject of your message should contain "Ask -Bradbury-" (without the quotes).
If it doesn't, there is a good chance your message will go straight to the trash.
We'll see where [if] this goes.
posted by Big Nick 9:54 PM